#TBT : My Story

Throwing it back to 17 years old on the farm

I guess you can say I'm kind of an old soul, outdoorsy type of girl. A perfect day is one spent vintage shopping for that one of a kind find or hiking a mountain for the breathtaking view. I collect old vinyls, because there is nothing like the rich real sound of an old record spinning. I love vintage dresses, suede fringe vests, and old architectural pieces! Fresh air and sunshine away for the city, reminds me of my childhood growing up on a buffalo farm. There I could go fishing, ride my bike, or climb the deer stand and watch the wildlife. If I wasn't out on the farm, then I was on the court with my basketball. That is where I found my strength and built endurance.

Basketball and sports, in general, became my outlet.  I was always that quiet shy type of girl that grew up in an Italian family with two brothers. There was always a lot of chatter at home and at family gatherings, so I just always sat back and let everyone else talk while I listened. As I migrated to middle school, my quiet, shy type of demeanor became an easy target for bullies.

I've never really felt alone until those middle school years. I always had two brothers to stand up for me, so I was not really the "fighting back" type or pushy or aggressive. A lot of changes take place in middle school, and it's an awkward phase of life anyways. Once people find out they can get away with bullying you, it tends to escalate. That is what happened to me and that's when the bullying against me went cyber. 

Middle School Victoria with no makeup and natural curly hair

Here's my story...

Circa 2007

Some stories will never be heard until it's too late to make a difference. That is why I'm stepping out to tell mine. My middle school years almost destroyed me. The emotional wounds inflicted by my peers went unseen as I tried to put up a front. The pain was not something you could put a bandaid on. The name calling, teasing, taunting, whispering, lies, pushing, tripping and elbowing reached a limit when the bullying abusers ​went Cyber.

I always had big dreams. 

I was 14 and in the 8th grade and I had started to get into sports as a self-esteem builder. I was finally fitting in as part of the team and  having fun!  Sports was an outlet for me to chanel the anger I had felt toward the "Bully Group".  Also, at that time in my life,  MySpace was the "social media of the day."  Every "cool" kid had one so I decided I would too. The "Bully Group" found out and decided to take their targeting of me to a new level... Cyber.  They made a MySpace page pretending to be me! They used my name and took pictures of me off my real MySpace page and altered them. 

They altered the pictures and made photos such  as my face covered in blood in a shark's mouth,  my head on top of a bull's body with horns protruding... you get the point. To top it off, they wrote a hideous "about me" section with foul language disgusting obscenities and then proceeded to friend request all the people on my friend's list. I was oblivious to this. When I went to school the next day, the stares and finger pointing were at an all time high and as I approached my locker it was covered with those photos and foul language. Everyone was laughing. One of my friends on the basketball team told me what had happened and I was devastated. When you are a young teen this seems like the end of the world.  It was was a very dark time for me as I struggled emotionally. Through the encouragement of my supportive family, the grace of God and sports,  I was able to survive. 

Being yourself, your true self, in a world that tells you, you have to act, look, and be a certain way is hard, but that did not and has not stopped me from being me.

Bullying continued throughout my middle and high schools years by the "cool" girls...the mean girls ....all because I refused to change and become like them.  

15 year old me

What I went through enabled me to empathize and help others who were and are going through the same thing. I've been able to speak to groups and one on one with hurting youth and teens. I  personally know their struggle and I also KNOW that problems do not have to define but can serve to REFINE you!

As Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. ~ Proverbs 27:17

Bullying is a global problem. It is colorless, ageless, and genderless. It affects health and self-esteem. With support systems, such as family, church groups,  friends, and activities, such as music or sports, you can better cope, just like I did.

My biggest support system, my number one fan, and the one who always motivates me to be better and stay true to me is my mom. I know I would not be where I am today without her. 

If you are a victim of bullying, whether it is cyber or physical, tell your family, teachers, or authorities immediately. Cyber Bulling is now considered a hate crime in numerous states, and perpetrators can receive jail time. Since then, some of the "mean girls" throughout middle and high school have apologized, and I am grateful for that!  

Always remember to respect your peers and respect yourself, no matter what anyone thinks or "says" about you or someone else! God made YOU and me for a special purpose.

As I am finishing up this blog and reflecting on my life between middle school and now, I realize that bullying never ends. Only when people's love of power is superseded by their power of love will the world change. 

Should you find yourself the target of someone's bitterness, jealousy, lies, judgment, or scrutiny....just remember that says more about them and their insecurities than it does about you. 

I've continually experienced this "hate" in everyday life, whether it be in school, work, or church. Bullying knows no limits. Even at the ripe age of 22,  the "haters" are there. Their hate serves to motivate me now.  I know who I am. My self worth is NOT defined by anyone else's opinions or insecurities. 

Small Minds can't comprehend big spirits. To be great you have to be willing to be mocked, hated, and misunderstood. 

Stay Strong!!!

With Love, 

V <3 

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